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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25081588">When I Fall In Love With You It Will Be Forever</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/kylobabble/pseuds/kylobabble'>kylobabble</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Nessian Record Shop AU [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Masturbation, Nessian - Freeform, Oral Sex, Record store au, Recreational Drug Use, Smut, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, thigh riding</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 03:56:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,039</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25081588</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/kylobabble/pseuds/kylobabble</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Nesta isn’t really sure when she fell in love with Cassian.<br/>Maybe it was when he insisted on walking her home, all the way to Williamsburg from whatever club they’d been at in the Meatpacking District.<br/>Or maybe it was a few weeks after that, when she’d overheard him tell Mor that he’d rather jump off the Brooklyn bridge than fuck her.<br/>That had hurt in a way Nesta couldn’t hide from.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Nesta Archeron/Cassian</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Nessian Record Shop AU [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1816510</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>94</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>When I Fall In Love With You It Will Be Forever</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>The title is from the song "I Believe" by Stevie Wonder.</p>
<p>I know most AU's have Nesta as a lawyer or a bookstore owner but music nerd Nesta just does something to me.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nesta isn’t really sure when she fell in love with Cassian.</p>
<p><br/>Maybe it was when he insisted on walking her home, all the way to Williamsburg from whatever club they’d been at in the Meatpacking District.</p>
<p><br/>Maybe it was when the group of them went to that ramen place on the upper west side, a forty five minute trip for Nesta, and she had to watch him struggle to hold chopsticks in his ridiculously large hands, and her mind wandered to how those hands might feel inside her, and it was this thought that had caused her to promptly choke on her soup. When he looked at her, it was clear he thought she had been stifling laughter, laughter at him, and she felt so ashamed, she’d wanted to die. The embarrassment on his face wouldn’t have been apparent to someone who didn’t know him, but Nesta saw it. She wanted to console him, to touch his hand and assure him that she wasn’t laughing at him, but she didn’t. What would she say? <em>No, I wasn’t laughing at you, I was just thinking about your fingers inside me, that all! Nothing for you to be embarrassed about.</em></p>
<p><br/>Or maybe it had been that time he’d seen her walking down the street - earbuds blasting Zappa, <em>Bobby Brown Goes Down </em>- and had run three blocks to catch up with her, and when he finally did he simply said “Hi,” all panting and sweaty. She said hi back and they stared at each other for about ten seconds before he turned around and returned from whence he came. And when she got back to her record shop, she began to cry, and she didn’t know why, and she couldn’t stop it. She just sat in the back office listening to Sinead O’Connor with silent tears dripping down her face while Emerie and Devlon handled that day's customers without her.</p>
<p><br/>Or maybe it was a few weeks after that, when she’d overheard him tell Mor that he’d rather jump off the Brooklyn bridge than fuck her.</p>
<p>That one had hurt in a way Nesta couldn’t hide from. After that, it almost hurt to be near him. She stopped making the bi-weekly trips to Manhattan to hang out with Feyre and her crew. She stopped inviting the crew to Brooklyn to come see shows with her, Emerie, and Devlon. She only saw them when they ambushed her at the shop, and when they did she avoided speaking to Cassian, sometimes outright ignoring him.</p>
<p><br/>She managed to haul her ass to Manhattan for Feyre’s twenty first birthday, but she skipped out on the Christmas celebration at Rhys’ loft the following day. She still managed to get them all gifts, left under the ostentatiously large tree, but she refused to be there to see them open them. She couldn’t bear to see Cassian and Mor open matching pairs of underwear for the third year in a row.</p>
<p><br/>Nesta spent her Christmas listening to Anne Peebles and smoking a joint while reorganizing her extensive record collection. She convinced herself that she was having a much better time alone in Brooklyn than she would have in that pretentious SoHo loft Feyre and Rhys lived in now. She’d much rather be high and alone than drunk with her family.</p>
<p><br/>Family. She caught herself. They weren’t her family - they were Feyre’s, sure, maybe Elain’s now too, but never hers. Nevermind that before this whole thing with Cassian she was in Manhattan so much the guys at the bodega near Feyre’s place knew her name. Nevermind that whenever she couldn’t bring herself to cross the east river they would do so instead, spending as much time in Brooklyn as they did in Manhattan. Nevermind that the entire inner circle now had incredible, however small, record collections of their own - both because they spent so much time at her shop and because they all wanted her attention, and asking her to help expand their music collection was the easiest way to do it.</p>
<p><br/>No. They weren’t her family at all.</p>
<p>The morning after Christmas wasn’t anywhere near as dull as the day before. She had a glass of whiskey with her cereal, talked on the phone with Elain for a while, and watched five hours of a new Netflix show. When the evening rolled around she put on a record by a band called Satan’s Rat’s and was about to light up when a knock sounded on her front door.<br/>She was greeted by Cassian’s smug smile when she opened the door, and she let out an annoyed groan before stepping away from the door, leaving it open for him.</p>
<p><br/>“What do you want?” Nesta said, rearranging herself between stacks of records to continue the mass reorganization she had begun the day before, joint forgotten and unlit on her dining table.</p>
<p><br/>“Missed you yesterday, had to make sure you were still alive.” Cassian crooned as he followed Nesta inside, closing the door behind him.</p>
<p><br/>“Well I’m alive, you can leave now.”</p>
<p><br/>“Not so fast, I brought you some Jameson, you could at least let me stay for a drink.”</p>
<p><br/>Nesta simply huffed and took Satan’s Rat’s off the turntable. Cassian smiled and put the bottle of alcohol on Nesta’s coffee table before taking off his coat and sinking into her couch himself.</p>
<p><br/>“You haven’t been around as much.” he stated after a minute of silence, Nesta shuffling through her records.</p>
<p><br/>“What do you mean?” Nesta decided to play it cool. Her face trained into that snarky boredom that made men quiver.</p>
<p><br/>“You haven’t been coming to our side of the river as much, and-”</p>
<p><br/>“I’ve been busy, the shop doesn’t run itself.” Nesta cut him off.</p>
<p><br/>“- you’ve been ignoring me when we come to hang out.” he finished.</p>
<p><br/>“I haven’t been ignoring you.” She huffed. “I’m not a child.”</p>
<p><br/>He was serious now, all of that cruel swagger gone. “What’s wrong?”</p>
<p><br/>“Nothing is wrong, god, forgive me if I don't want to hang out with my sisters pretentious little friends.”</p>
<p><br/>“You live in Williamsburg, I don’t think you have the right to call anyone pretentious.” Cassian had a small smirk on his face now, and Nesta quickly turned to face her records, strewn about the floor. “Why is this place so messy anyway?”</p>
<p><br/>“I’m reorganizing my collection.” she said simply, she didn’t want to get into it with him, not tonight, not ever.</p>
<p><br/>“Why?” Cassian said.</p>
<p><br/>“Because I want to.”</p>
<p><br/>Cassian huffed a laugh and sat forward on the sofa. “So are you gonna get some glasses or am i allowed to sort through your kitchen?”</p>
<p><br/>Nesta huffed and stood up, stepping over a stack of records precariously and skirting past Cassian on the couch to get to the kitchen, where she promptly pulled two glasses from one of her cabinets before floating back into her living room.</p>
<p><br/>She bent over to place the glasses on the coffee table, and Cassian carefully tried to glance at her ass, to no avail.</p>
<p><br/>“What is this anyway?” he said, gesturing to her red floral printed kimono that was blocking his view of her ass, “Some kind of robe?”</p>
<p><br/>“It’s a kimono, dumbass.” nesta said, settling into a spot on the opposite side of the couch as he poured the whiskey into the glasses.</p>
<p><br/>“Same thing.” Cassian said, handing her a glass, which she took gratefully.</p>
<p><br/>“So why didn’t you come to Christmas?” he asked, settling back into the couch.</p>
<p><br/>“I was busy.”</p>
<p><br/>“Doing what?”</p>
<p><br/>“Reorganizing my record collection.” She decided not to lie outright, mainly because she couldn’t think of anything too convincing, and even if she did lie he would see right through her, he always did.</p>
<p><br/>Cassian snorted “Good to know where your priorities lie.”</p>
<p><br/>“Don’t do that.” Nesta said. Everytime Cassian looked at her it felt like he was staring directly into her soul, but this was worse, because she truly had something to hide. She didn’t know what he’d do with the knowledge when he found it, but she didn’t exactly trust him to be gentle with her love. It wasn’t anything personal, she couldn’t really trust anyone after Tomas.<br/>“What?” Cassian said, his eyebrows knitted together in confusion.</p>
<p><br/>“You know I care about you,” Nesta said, her breath hitching, “you all do.” she said quickly, trying to cover up her small error. While she did care about all of their friends, Cassian was special, he always had been, and she hated him for it.</p>
<p><br/>“How would we know that?” Cassian was getting angry, but it was a quiet anger. It was an anger that made her feel bad about her eternal rage. “It’s not like you tell us anything.”<br/>“You still know.” She said, breathing in angrily. “Just because I can't talk about it doesn’t mean it isn't there.”</p>
<p><br/>Cassian's chest was heaving, and there was hope brimming inside him. Hope that maybe this conversation wasn’t just about their friend group. He hoped that she too, knew - knew that even though he couldn’t talk about it, he still felt it.</p>
<p><br/>“But you haven’t been coming out as much.” Cassian’s voice was strained with emotion, and it caught Nesta off guard, her first instinct was to run. “If you aren’t around to remind us we might forget.”</p>
<p><br/>“That isn’t exactly my problem, is it?” Nesta’s voice was sharp, and Cassian was walking a fine line, he knew. If Nesta felt attacked, felt cornered, she would shut down. Everyone else might think she’s a cold bitch, and she is, but Cassian knows that she only shuts down like this when she’s feeling too much. He needed to choose his next words carefully, lest she kick him out of her apartment and the problem before them might never be resolved.</p>
<p><br/>“Why have you been avoiding me, Nesta?” he said, keeping his voice as calm as possible.</p>
<p><br/>“I haven’t-” Nesta started, but stopped when she saw the look on his face. There was no point in lying to him, she couldn’t hide shit from him. Nesta instead, deflected. “Why do you care?” she said, voice venomous.</p>
<p><br/>“Because you’re my friend.” Cassian replied quickly, his face growing defensive.</p>
<p><br/>Good, Nesta thought. A smirk grew on that devastating face of hers, and Cassian knew he was fucked.</p>
<p><br/>“Are you sure, Cassian?” His heart jumped at the sound of his name in her mouth. “You’re not here to stare at my ass? You’re not trying to get me drunk so maybe I could stomach sleeping with you?” Nesta’s face was hard and cruel.</p>
<p><br/>“While staring at your gorgeous body is definitely one of my favorite pass times, that is not why I’m here.” Cassian said, his cruel swagger was back.</p>
<p><br/>“No, that’s right, I remember.” Nesta said, her voice filled with feigned carelessness, but her eyes said it all. There was pain and anger there, and it made Cassian fear what was going to come out of her mouth next. “You would rather jump off a bridge than fuck me. That’s not why you’re here.” She finished and Cassian let out a long sigh.</p>
<p><br/>“That’s why you’re upset?” he questioned, his anger could be heard in his voice now and it made the hairs on the back of nesta’s neck rise. “You’ve been avoiding me- No! Avoiding all of us because you think I don’t want to fuck you?”</p>
<p><br/>“I’ve been avoiding you because looking at your face is physically painful!” Nesta’s voice was raised, her body shifting forward on the couch, closer to him. The air seemed to be sucked out of the room, feeding their anger.</p>
<p><br/>“I didn’t mean it! You have to know I didn’t mean it!” Cassian shouted. He didn’t know what he expected. Nesta was petty enough to push all of her loved one’s away just because he insulted her. Fucks sake, he didn’t even mean it! “I was just trying to get Mor off my back!”</p>
<p><br/>“Get out.” Nesta said, her face stoic once more, her voice quiet and calm in a way that would scare anyone who knew her. But not Cassian.</p>
<p><br/>“No!” Cassian said. Was it anger roiling through him or excitement? He took a deep breath before starting again, much more calm this time. “Do you want me to fuck you? Is that it? You’re so upset because you can’t get what you want?”<br/>Cassian’s smirk had returned in full force once more and it made something in Nesta’s gut flip.</p>
<p><br/>Nesta heaved herself off the couch, putting her glass on the coffee table.</p>
<p><br/>“Nesta-” Cassian said, but she was walking away, toward her front door. She would hold it open for him and pull his ass off her couch herself if she had to. This wasn’t even a real argument - they’d had much worse one’s before - but it was too much. It was too close. She felt like a caged animal, and she needed him out, needed him away.</p>
<p><br/>Cassian’s hand caught her wrist as she was stepping over a stack of records and just like that she was pulled into his lap, her records spilling out of their not so neat pile and spilling onto the floor.</p>
<p><br/>Nesta didn’t move, didn’t turn her head to look at him, she sat completely still in Cassian’s lap, focusing on her breathing and trying to keep that bored, if not slightly annoyed, expression on her face.</p>
<p><br/>“I-”Cassian stammered, and Nesta’s heart was pounding in her chest because she was perched in his lap and now his hand was trailing up her forearm gently, and it was almost comforting, calming even. “I’ve missed you.”</p>
<p><br/>Nesta wasn’t entirely sure she was breathing as his hand trailed up her shoulder and pushed a strand of her hair out of her face. His fingers rested against her jaw, and Nesta swore they were begging her to look at him, to face him - face this, whatever it was. A shiver ran down her spine at his gentle touches, causing her to shift in his lap and brush against him.<br/>He was hard. Not rock hard, it was just a semi - but it was something. And he’d missed her. He missed her.</p>
<p><br/>She gasped slightly at the feel of him against her outer thigh, and his breath caught in his throat. His hand fell back onto the couch, body relaxing back into the couch. The ball was in her court now, she got to decide whether or not this continued. She could force him out of her apartment right now, or she could deal with the growing boner in his pants. It was up to her.</p>
<p><br/>Nesta took a deep breath, and decided if Cassian never loved her that would be fine. She could live without love, she’d done it for this long. Perhaps he only wanted to fuck her, but he had missed her, and if she was being honest she had missed him too. And maybe he lied just as much as she did. Maybe this man, the most perfect person she had ever encountered, was just as much of a liar and a coward as she was. And with that thought, Nesta moved.</p>
<p><br/>Nesta shifted in his lap so that she was straddling him, and his breath caught in his throat. Every nerve ending in his body was standing at attention, and his hips jutted forward seeking friction. God, they hadn’t even kissed and he was already rutting like a twelve year old boy.</p>
<p><br/>She let out a little whimpering sound when his semi rubbed against her, her eyes closed and brows furrowed. Cassian thought she looked like a goddess, like something out of his dreams, but she was human, she was here, and she was whimpering in his lap. It was this thought that had Cassian’s hands leaving their place on the couch and wrapping themselves around her middle. He pulled her up slightly and repositioned her sensitive center over his right thigh before pulling her down against it. She responded with an uneven intake of air, her eyes finally peeling open, her deep blue-gray oceans meeting his golden hazel forests.</p>
<p><br/>“Ride my thigh, sweetheart.” Cassian smirked. It was half question, half command, and part of Nesta wanted to stand up and kick him out of her apartment, but a larger part of her really wanted to come.</p>
<p><br/>So rather than argue, Nesta slowly began rocking her core over his denim clad thigh. Cassian's right arm wrapped all the way around her waist, helping her along, and his left hand found its home on her thigh, a comforting touch.</p>
<p><br/>Nesta refused to break eye contact, refused to have shame, even if she was bucking against his thigh with reckless abandon. His eyes did not leave hers either, they were silently daring each other, to tease the other, both waiting for this all to fall apart.<br/>When Cassian’s lip quivered Daema feared he was going to mock her, but the teasing never came. His eyes just held hers and his arms continued to guide her up and down his thigh, closer to release with every movement.</p>
<p><br/>Nesta couldn’t help the small moan that escaped her mouth when the orgasm building in her lower abdomen started to build, and it was this small sound that caused Cassian to break his silence.</p>
<p><br/>“That’s it, sweetheart, come for me.”</p>
<p><br/>Nesta broke, her orgasm spreading through her body and submerging her into complete ecstasy, and she didn’t even think for a moment when she closed the distance between her and Cassian and kissed him.</p>
<p><br/>It was a hard kiss, one that had been building inside them both for a long time, it was all tongues and teeth. Nesta moaned into his mouth as she reached her climax, still grinding against him until she had ridden it out.</p>
<p><br/>Nesta didn’t pull away even after she’d stopped moving and for that Cassian was grateful. He didn’t want this to end, he didn’t want Nesta to pull back and start being cruel - or worse, ignore him - he wanted to make her come again and again until the sun had risen and they were both too tired to continue. He wanted to kiss her forever.</p>
<p><br/>Cassian picked Nesta up and laid her down on the couch, breaking away from her mouth to trail kisses down her neck. He continued down to her chest, pulling her camisole down to reveal her breast. He spared a glance at her face, asking for permission, and she nodded, her eyes filled with something Cassian could not place. Perhaps it was surprise, or maybe it was longing, Cassian couldn’t be sure, since seeing any emotion on her face was rare.</p>
<p><br/>Cassian’s head bent down and he took her nipple into his mouth, licking and sucking and biting. He worked one until it was bright and hard before switching to the other and repeating the process. The moans that came out of Nesta’s mouth made him wonder if he could do this forever. He considered getting out the voice record app on his phone and recording them so he could listen back when this was over.</p>
<p><br/>This would be over. The thought hit him as he released her left nipple with a pop, his lips wet with saliva. She might never let him touch her ever again, this might be all he gets.<br/>He let his worry float away when she started clawing at his shirt. “Off.” she breathed.</p>
<p><br/>He sat up and peeled off his shirt, and she did the same, slipping off her robe - kimono - and then her camisole after it. When her back hit the couch again he slipped his fingers under the waistline of her shorts, pulling them down, taking her underwear with them, as she lifted her ass to let them free.</p>
<p><br/>Nesta’s eyes scanned his torso, the tattoo’s dancing along his chest and shoulders made her eyes shine and her core pulsed with want.</p>
<p><br/>Free from all clothing, Nesta spread her legs for him and he looked at her center as if he’d just found god, pulling a small chuckle from her.</p>
<p><br/>Cassian looked her in the eyes once more, a question in them. Asking once more if this was okay. Nesta gave him a small smile and a nod. Cassian smirked, licked his lips, then tucked his head between her thighs, pulling her legs onto his shoulders.</p>
<p><br/>The first, broad stroke of his tongue had her hips bucking against his face. He slowly became more and more focused, tongue swirling around her clit, lips sucking. She let out a whiny sound when his teeth scraped against her gently and before long she came for the second time.</p>
<p><br/>The third orgasm came quickly after, his tongue never leaving her core. He simply added his fingers to the mix and within minutes she was coming undone for him again.</p>
<p><br/>He was going for a fourth when her fingers found purchase in his hair and tugged his head up.</p>
<p><br/>He crawled up her body until their lips met each other, his weight resting on his forearms.</p>
<p><br/>“I-” she said, getting lost in their kiss before continuing. “-need you in me.”</p>
<p><br/>Cassian let out a growl as his lips trailed down her jaw, kissing a spot on her neck and giving it a soft bite, before he sat up, arms wrapped around her waist. He stood, lifting her with him, and carried her into the bedroom, her legs wrapped around him.</p>
<p><br/>Once in the bedroom, he promptly deposited her naked body onto the bed before he stood and started peeling the last bits of clothing from his body.</p>
<p><br/>Nesta took advantage of this time, leaning over and shuffling through her bedside table until she found a condom, which she promptly presented to him.</p>
<p><br/>Cassian put on the condom dutifully before crawling back over Nesta's body and lining himself up at her entrance. He found her eyes once again and asked “You’re sure?”</p>
<p><br/>“Yes.” Nesta said, quickly and confidently.</p>
<p><br/>Cassian’s smirk returned to his face for a half second before he slowly slid inside of her.</p>
<p><br/>Nesta let out a breathy moan and Cassian groaned, his head resting in the space between her neck and her shoulder.</p>
<p><br/>He moved slowly, pulling out and pushing back in at a torturous pace. When he was fully sheathed, Nesta let out a moan that made Cassian want to start rutting into her at a breakneck pace.</p>
<p><br/>But he kept going slowly, his head lifting from her shoulder and his lips finding hers. He wanted the to last, he didn’t want this to be over quickly. He wanted to memorize how she felt around him in case he never got to feel it again.</p>
<p><br/>Nesta shattered into a thousand pieces when she came the fourth time. The moan that ripped through her was loud, and her nails scraped down his back, pulling another groan out of Cassian. She felt a tear streak down her cheek and she closed her eyes to prevent more from sneaking out.</p>
<p><br/>Cassian promptly kissed the tear away, “What’s wrong?” he asked.</p>
<p><br/>“I’m just happy that’s all.” Nesta said, opening her eyes to find his, looking at her with love in his eyes. “I-” nesta started, unsure if she should say it while he was still hard inside her.</p>
<p><br/>“Tell me,” Cassian whispered. “Please.”</p>
<p><br/>“I love you.” Nesta whispered, her eyes never leaving his. Tears brimmed in Cassian’s eyes as he searched her face for any trace of a lie, but he found nothing but truth and happiness.</p>
<p><br/>“I love you, too.” He whispered back, his voice breaking. The kiss they shared then was messy and salty with tears, but it was beautiful and pure. “Fuck,” he whispered into her mouth, his thrusts resuming, “I do. I fucking love you.”</p>
<p><br/>Her fifth orgasm racked though her body after a few minutes of brutal, hard, fast thrusts, and it left her screaming his name. He came quickly after and promptly collapsed on top of her, his name a chant on his lips.</p>
<p><br/>They spent the next few days in her bed, eating cereal and smoking joints, and drinking whiskey neat and making love. And as Stevie Wonder’s<em> I believe</em> floated out of her speakers, they decided that they would do this forever.</p>
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